Disclaimer: The quotes in this post may not be completely accurate.
I had a rough day. Stressed because I’m always stressed when the teacher reviews my girls’ homeschool portfolios, I did not sleep well last night. Nervous, I couldn’t eat much except a peanut butter and jelly sandwich this morning. We were getting the books put into the waiting bag, when my oldest spills water on her science notebook, pretty much ruining it. Then, I cut my finger on the end of my mandolin string while hurrying to put it back in its case. Wrapping a bandaid around it, I hurried to grab my bags, when my aunt says, “Aren’t you going to change your shirt?” It is certain I would have walked right out that door with a stained up shirt, if she had not stopped me. The first book the teacher opens shows correct answers but no proof that those answers were not obtained by cheating. My youngest was put on the spot, something that freezes her up. All was cleared up, yet, I knew, somehow, I had failed. Afterward, I thought to buy milkshakes to celebrate finishing the school year. But, since I didn’t buy what my oldest wanted from the place she wanted it from, she wouldn’t take anything from anyone or from anywhere. Once again, I failed. We came home and began clearing out the cabinet where I keep school supplies, only to realize we can’t find the book I purchased a month ago. Failed, again. I despaired that this day would ever be redeemed.
During supper and subsequent dish washing, Star Wars played on the TV. I prayed, kept reminding myself it would all be OK, and sat down with a second glass of sweet tea. Then, I turned my attention to the current movie and found some encouragement.
I am not an avid fan, and I don’t have the script memorized, but what I heard was this…if I remember correctly.
Luke Skywalker says, “Well, I’ll try.”
Yoda replies, “No. Do. There is no try.”
A conversation takes place where Luke says it’s too big of a job, and Yoda says something about size having nothing to do with it. Then, Yoda raises the spaceship out of the water. I know this, because I asked my husband what happened. LOL Anyway, at the end, Luke says, “I can’t believe it.” Whereupon Yoda replies, “That is why you fail.”
Suddenly, it hit me. Exactly who is living in me, seeing as how I call myself a Christian? If the force within me is the Lord Jesus Christ, who, BTW has no dark side, then why am I calling myself a failure? I had just been telling myself during dish washing that I would try to do better next year. But, according to Master Yoda, “There is no try.” And, the reason I fail is because of unbelief.
I will not try to do better next time. I will do better, because I know how to fix this year’s mistakes. I will not fail, because I am not trying to make my kids perfect students. I will succeed, because I am teaching them how to be lifelong learners. Besides, the Lord didn’t tell me to make my children happy or make them smart or even make them good at a particular subject. Nope. He told me to teach them. He told me to present the gospel to them. He told me to love them. As long as I do that, I am a success.
On this day twenty years ago, I donned a cap and gown and walked across a stage to receive my high school diploma. I was salutatorian, which is a fancy way of saying my grade point average was the second highest in my class. I had to give a speech, I remember, and it’s topic was success. Yeah, like I knew anything at eighteen, but still… LOL I can’t help but look back over the years and wonder at how far I’ve come. Part of me wants to smack that girl up side the head for being so arrogant. Then, I turn around, look at my own two girls and think, “Wow, how can I be the best mom to them?” Once again, Master Yoda’s words come back to me. “There is no try.” So, here’s to Yoda, my merciful heavenly Father and a good batch of homemade pizza cooked by my amazing husband. I’m going to be all right.
Tomorrow, I’m going to pick up that mandolin and work on those tremolos. I’m going to work on the fiction story I started a few months ago and the nonfiction story I started a few weeks ago. I’m going to love my family, come up with an inexpensive way to have a good supper when my man comes home, and I’m going to work on the blog post for my other blog. BTW, if you want to read it, you can find it at adkinsandwells.blogspot.com.
So, until next time, keep on keeping on, and when life gets tough, eat some pizza and watch a Star Wars movie. 🙂